I kept putting off writing this entry because my schedule wouldn’t cooperate. Loljk I wasn’t just really in the mood. But 2011 is almost over so here it is then. :)

TBH, this is more of an impulse than a well-thought entry so forgive me if I seem to start rambling.

How do I describe 2011? 2 words: It sucked.

This year was full of pain, regrets, bullcrap and a whole bunch of other negative feelings. 

Looking back, I notice that there are so much to say about this year. I cannot even begin to stress how hard the things I went through.  EVERYTHING WAS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE.

Been rejected many times, went through a painful breakup, made awful choices and unwise decisions, escaped reality, moped in self pity, wallowed in misery in a span of 8 months, fell in to a relapse 2 months after (LOLOLOLZ), hit rock bottom, in short, I lost myself completely.  2011 was the worst, in all aspects. Nevertheless, it was also the most significant. (It’s ironic how everything worked out in the end.) It gave me the greatest amount of personal satisfaction, mainly because it taught me a lot of things. If there are some that I’d like to share, it’s that life’s not meant to be easy but we’re meant to be stronger than any of the harsh realities it comes with. There will always be strings of failures, heartaches to heal, people to let go, hard slaps of life in our faces and the list goes on. But these experiences will mold us into better people only if we choose to bravely suck it up, not cower and run away from it.

As for myself, confronting my feelings was the hardest thing I had to do. I was stuck in a pit of perpetual denial and lingered in limbo for 6 months because I wasn’t brave enough to face the truth. It took me long to realize that doing so only meant looking after myself. It has been almost a year since my ~epic break up, but I remain grateful to have experienced getting my heart broken.

One of the good things I realized after it happened is that people come and go but there are people that I am pretty sure will stay forever. I will never be alone. :)

Contrary to how people see me, I have not figured out my life yet. I am still shattered and hurt. I am still lost. But I am working through my mess. And I believe I’m slowly getting back on track. One step at a time. :)

There is nothing worse than knowing you’re perfect for each other, just not right now.

mylifeasrebekah:

And seriously I’d rather have a hamburger than a boyfriend most days.

ME FOREVERRR! I MEAN LOOK AT HER!!! :>